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By Lilly Sayenga
Everything I love
Is falling apart
They’re leaving me behind
But say they hold me in their hearts
I am not mad
I am upset
I hate how we’re so similar
I hate that I miss what I can’t forget
The gaps, I have noticed, are the hardest wounds to set.
When I was seven
I slipped in the shower
Trying to retrieve a bar of soap
It was my mother’s
And I felt myself fall
And ceramic parted the petals that wrap my skull
I now have a scar
Very faint
Under my right eyebrow
Above my eyelid
I would later faint in that shower
And my parents thought I was dead
Since I am too fragile and stitched inside my head
So I miss
And I scar
Because I know they don’t
Want things to change
I don’t either so
Why change it
Why cut it so it will scar
Still skin but not the same skin
Because it’s been forced apart
And it’s not your fault
I want you to be well
I want things to be better
When we start our twelve month lease
in a beautiful gothic building conveniently located
next to Hell
But I can’t let myself sit here
But I can’t get myself to trust
Anyone else
I love you all so much
But I don’t know what to do
So I don’t know what to do
The scar under my eyebrow
Just out of my
View
Reminds me that things can
Never be nice for too long
I will slip while reaching for soap
And things will get messy
And I will be very exceedingly
upset
But it doesn’t stay the same
It just scars
Into a faint line
That fades in my fainted consciousness
With a bit of time
And I know you’ll hate this poem
You’ll say it’s too much
Gore
But it’s only a scar if it doesn’t bleed anymore
Though it can still hurt when it’s touched
Sounds about right so
Don’t mind the suds
I’m trying my best here
To bring them the soap
I love them so much
But sometimes I just
Don’t want to cope
I just want the same skin
That I had before
Smooth like the ceramic
Before I hit the tile floor
